I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's Friday. Sex?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
