I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
