is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
