It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
