why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize