I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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