She said her name was "party"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
