you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think a kid would responsible me up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
