I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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