you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
