Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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