I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
