He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
