Duck Duck Cougar?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She announced her abortion via fbk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
