dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
