discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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