I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The air was thick with penises
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
