Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
