then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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