Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
