i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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