TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
