I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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