i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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