Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
