You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
