apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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