i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My pussy is not your playground.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
