Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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