the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
