Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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