So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if only i could text you this smell
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize