let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
