the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
