Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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