Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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