Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
