Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
worst night to have a conscience
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
