wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
