i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
