you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
