my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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