hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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