She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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