You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
