i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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