I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
