Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
