Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
