We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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