Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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